When did everyone become a psyche major?

Recently I put a sign up on my door. Nothing special or noteworthy, just a piece of binder paper with some pen marks forming letters that form words that link up to make sentences. The main reason that I put it up was for my new roommate, I thought it would be helpful to have my name on the door since I took my star down. But I didn’t want to just write up a “my name is: the lamest person in the world” instead I just wanted to put up something unoriginal and generic, yet safe and non-threatening. Again it really wasn’t much. In fact I will quite the whole sign, bullet points and all.

“To all those who seem to be trying to sell me something, this may help you out:

• My name is Andrew Pellow

• I am easily distracted by shiny things”

That’s it, no more, nothing else there, the end. I found it to adequately mask the fact that I was saying “hello my name is:…” No less than two days after I put the thing up the RA knocked on my door. That is unusual because she never enters this domain. In fact there are more fingers on my fourth hand than times I have seen her in the building. No that that’s a bad thing. In some ways that is a very very good thing. But I digress. She asked me, what about this sign, do I want to talk about it, is something the matter, are people coming by and trying to sell you things, how are you doing, are you sure everything is alright, well then why did you put the sign up, (in a rather harsh and accusing voice like it is something terrible) are you trying to be funny? Again my intensions were not to be funny but to remind my roommate of my name. so I said not exactly to that, which she responded with a well articulated Huh? And I figured it would be easier to just give her the old “yea I guess…” response and move on.

Now I am no psyche major and one semester of psychology in high school hardly qualifies me to examine a mouse turd (which there seems to be more and more of lately) mush less something someone took the time to write down on paper; but I didn’t/don’t see anything real significant in that sign. Nothing that really needs examination. Although if that were true a lot of psychiatrists would be out of the job.

So I passed of the rare encounter with the RA as just strange new surroundings induced overreaction(ed) questions. Then, it was strange, my hall mates started asking the same questions. What is the significance and such and such. Strange. Then the PR guy came to ask about it too. Now we have never held any hall meetings so I don’t think this was a big conspiracy, just everyone wants to use me for their psyche paper. Which I don’t mind just if those lousy bums get paid to take pills and get electro-shock then why shouldn’t I get paid for my participation in pseudo-medical experiments?

Well my roommate shows up and he is a frat guy, business major like me. Its all good for a while. He is definitely no psyche major and the questioning of the sign has died down. Well it takes my roommate a week but he finally asks, “hey what’s with that sign on the door? You really like shiny things er what? are you just trying to be funny or something? And who was trying to sell you things? Do you have a problem with shiny things? Do you want to talk about it?” AAARGGG!!!